Savage Words: If you’re doing the Burger Battle, here’s hoping you stay in Brandon

Thirteen years ago, the folks who head up Downtown Sioux Falls, a non-profit that helps the downtown community with economic growth, began a Burger Battle during the month of January.

And it’s been a hit.

People by the thousands who are on the hunt for increased risk of heart disease due to high saturated fat content simply flock to downtown Sioux Falls. They do it every day during the month.

The Burger Battle was created in an attempt to draw people downtown during the normally slow month of January.

Last year, downtown Sioux Falls restaurants served 84,500 burgers and almost 42,000 votes were cast from nearly 30,000 diners. Monks Ale House, located in the East Bank area on the near east side of downtown, led the way with 6,200 burgers sold. That’s 200 burgers a day.

The event last January also generated an estimated $3.25 million in economic impact on downtown Sioux Falls.

Not shabby numbers for a month’s worth of serving up some burgers.

So, three years ago, the Brandon Valley Area Chamber of Commerce decided to replicate the Burger Battle in the Brandon area.

There were likely a couple of reasons why the folks at the chamber made the decision to clone their big brother to the west. 

First, see paragraph six above. $3.25 million…in a month?!

Yea, I don’t blame the chamber for wanting to get a piece of that pie for area restaurants.

Secondly, when Sioux Falls did open the gates on its cholesterol-induced Burger Battle each January, it no doubt created a vacuum for Brandon restaurants when residents in this area flocked to Sioux Falls for the big event.

That’s why I was bummed when I read last week that some people in our area were questioning why Brandon would host a Burger Battle during the month of January, the same month as Sioux Falls.

Seems pretty simple to me. Either we support our Brandon restaurants during the month of January, or we bail on them, and head to Sioux Falls. Thanks to the Brandon Valley Area Chamber of Commerce, the Burger Battle came to the Brandon area three years ago, and we can stick around, spend our money here, and help bolster the local sales tax.

Plus, there’s 50 freaking burgers in Sioux Falls.

50!

Talk about a heart attack waiting to happen. Last year there were 39 burgers in the Sioux Falls Burger Battle, and 19 people ate them all. Nineteen, out of 30,000 diners. Cue the cardiologist.

This year, there’s six in Brandon. That’s reasonable, and to be honest, more fun. 

Fifty is almost too hard to get your head around. But six? Six I can do, and for me that’s a true Burger Battle. How can you really crown a champion if the vast majority of people don’t try them all…or even come close?

If you want to try all 50 in Sioux Falls this month, that’s an average of 1.6 burgers a day. Again, cardiologist?

If you want all six in Brandon, it’s a pretty simple plan. There’s five weekends in January. Get one a weekend, and squeeze another one in during the week, and you’re Brandon Proud.

Here’s the six burgers in Brandon:

The Berry Hot Bacon Burger by 212 the Boiling Point. 

The Angry Beaver by Annie’s Coffeehouse.

The Philly Brawler by Bottoms Up in Corson.

The Umami K-BBQ Slawsome Burger by CHUDS Pub & Grill in Larchwood.

The Maui Waui Burger by Red Rock Bar & Grill in Rowena.

The New School Bacon Bomb by The Gruff Plates and Pours.

Count me in on getting all six.

I’ll try a pizza in Sioux Falls.