Lilley & Misti: Student-teacher relationship goes beyond the classroom

Lilley Lehfeldt and Misti Becker banter back and forth like an old married couple.

Lilley is a serious Raiders fan.

As for Misti, well she loves the Minnesota Vikings.

And neither gives the other any grace when they’re talking football.

But one thing the two can agree on is their relationship – now 14 years strong – has gone above and beyond student and teacher.

“I’m your best harasser, right?” Misti teases.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Lilley tosses right back.

Misti was first paired with Lilley when she was just 4 years old. But their relationship might never have been if Misti hadn’t agreed to go back to school to get her Braille endorsement. The 20-year special education teacher first worked with Lilley on tactile things, such as how a cup or a toothbrush feels. As Misti learned the world of Braille, she also had to learn to teach it to Lilley.

“It took me out of my comfort zone,” she admits. “It took me a few years to get through it, it was tough.”

Misti said she considered throwing in the towel.

“Then I started working with her and I knew I couldn’t give up,” she said.

Instead of giving up, Misti followed the kindergarten curriculum in teaching Lilley the letters and their sounds and how they felt in Braille. Eventually, she taught her to read Braille.

“Braille was a little more complicated, because certain words mean the same as certain letters, but she caught onto that real quick. She can read Braille way better than I can,” Misti said. “She’s unique at doing Braille because she also has cerebral palsy, so she can’t use her right hand, and a lot of Braille readers use two hands and she uses one finger while she’s reading. The things that she has mastered has been amazing to watch her grow throughout the years.”

With her assistance, Misti exposed Lilley to many things that she didn’t necessarily want to try or want to do. In middle school, Lilley wanted nothing to do with having plaster put on her face to make a mask.

Misti delighted in the process, even joking with Lilley that she could go home and tell her parents, “You got ‘plastered’ in art!”

Lilley, however, didn’t find the humor in that.

Since the two joined forces, Misti said she’s done her best to have Lilley in the classroom learning alongside her peers.

“I’ve challenged her to do the same thing that everybody did. We tried it first and if it didn’t work, then I would modify it to her, but she’s always been in the classroom with the kids basically doing all the same things,” she said.

They went on class fieldtrips, finger-painted in Karo syrup, gone sledding, and had some fun in a bouncy house. Misti even brought her along to Yankton to watch her daughter, Brooke, play softball.

When she entered high school, those experiences elevated.

“She just whipped through Spanish I and Spanish II. We took biology and physical science and in high school we’ve taken every regular class that all the other kids were in,” Misti tells. “I had to think outside the box every day, all day to come up with ideas to include her the best possible way to keep her engaged because she wants to learn. To be able to explain it at her level and get her to kind of see it through her hands, I made a lot of creative tactile things and gone the round-about way of teaching her things.”

“We’ve always said I was the Billy Madison, right?” she asks Lilley.

“Yep,” she answers.

Misti said that if Lilley studied, she knew the material.

“Thanks to me, you’re a straight A student,” Misti teases. “Good thing I’m smart!”

Unlike Lilley, Misty says she won’t cascade across the stage on Sunday to receive a diploma.

That prompts a laugh from Lilley.

Misti describes Lilley as a “major rules follower.”

“I just keep trying to get her to break the rules,” Misti teases, citing a planned field trip to a vocal rehab center as her “senior skip day.”

“I don’t ever want to skip school,” Lilley corrects, which coaxes a chuckle out of Misti.

As their days together as student and teacher come to an end, Lilley says she’s excited for graduation, but yet, a bit sad, too.

“I’m going to miss my friends,” she says.

She’s also going to miss her daily interaction with Misti, her teacher – and her friend.

Following graduation, Lilley will attend the Thrive program at Teachwell in Sioux Falls. Beyond assisting through the transition, Misti and Lilley’s relationship changes from teacher and student to that of friends.

“I’m sure I’ll swing by her house,” Misti assures.