The Absent Uncle: The value of a lesson learned

I think over the past few months (oh wait – years) I have blathered about what I have discovered in my ever-advancing age about the value of friendship. 

When I think about it now, I realize I really didn’t understand it, value it, or sought it out. That is embarrassing.

What I have come to understand is how vital, important, and wonderful it is to have friends. People you care about and care about you. 

You would think that a guy approaching 75 would have figured this out a long time ago. Maybe I figured it out – but didn’t understand what it felt like – didn’t understand the importance. 

So, I offer this – maybe the understanding only comes with age – the appreciation and the good feelings of meeting, connecting, and finding friendship. That rationalization works, since none of us get a do-over. 

I think back on people that I interacted with. I could have related differently, opened up a bit more, but for whatever reason didn’t. Certainly, my loss. Was it the pace of life? Was it being defensive of who I was, what I did, or where I thought I was going? 

But it was my loss.   

In my work life, I always considered myself to be a five-year guy. Always moving, seeing other opportunities and moving along. That certainly limited making long term relationships – but not really. But allowing work life to dictate social life and making longer-term friendships along the way definitely was my loss. 

This past month while in Cabo San Lucas, a place I and my wife have visited for over the past 20 years, I was amazed at the difference in the level of connections I made with other people and was constantly asking myself, ‘Why? What has changed? Why now, why this year?’

Maybe it is just age. Slowing down. I thought I shed my ego a few years ago, but maybe not.  

Letting yourself just be yourself with others may be the answer. In any case – it is good and a lesson well-learned – and better late than never.