The Absent Uncle: Texas ...

I often tell friends who ask about how I am acclimating to living in Texas that “I may live in Texas, but I’ll never be Texan”.

We have just entered our eighth year living here after moving from Kansas. I have slowly become a fan of the Houston Astros over the past couple of years; still not a fan of any of the Texas football teams – pro or college; and well, just let me say that I don’t understand the political climate, nor what the function is of the myriad of governmental positions and titles that I see pop up in the news or on the ballot. 

For instance, the Texas Railroad Commission is a highly sought after elected statewide position. It regulates everything from school bus regulations to land management of public lands, to major parts of the oil industry. Another example: Texas has State Police, local police, Sherriff departments, and local District Constables (latter two are locally-elected, and again highly-contested), plus the legendary Texas Rangers that have great influence throughout the state law enforcement structure. Who has jurisdiction over what is a bit of a mystery, and I try to make sure I steer clear of all of them just to make sure I don’t get firsthand knowledge of what they are responsible for.

And then there are taxes (interestingly you can change the vowel position in the word and spell Texas). While there is no state income tax, the other taxes are often appearing and widespread. Somehow that Railroad Commission gets involved in some of these as well.  Property taxes are the biggest hit on people that often are the subject of politician promising to do “something” about them – either lowering or figuring out how they are being spent – and by who.

But getting back to law enforcement, this past week was New Year’s Eve. One of the most interesting and different customs down here is the huge use of fireworks on the Fourth of July and New Year’s Eve!

After living in Minnesota, California, and Kansas for significant periods of time, I never had experienced the level of fireworks usage on the Fourth of July, and certainly never on New Year’s Eve. Think the chances of really cold weather precluded fireworks in Minnesota and Kansas, and California has overwhelming rules to protect against fire danger.

The local Homeowners Association (HOA) has stringent rules against personal fireworks being used in our neighborhood, as does the county, and neighboring city. But oh my, as it gets near dusk on New Year’s Eve, out comes the skyrockets, screaming meemies, firecrackers, and every other device you can think of. It continues to just after the midnight celebration (with a few notable exceptions) when it quiets down (for the most part), although I have one of my backyard neighbors that seems to have a supply of boomers that last well past 1 a.m.

I don’t know which of the myriad of law enforcement forces that have jurisdiction over the obvious law and rule breaking that goes on (maybe it’s the Railroad Commission!) but I have yet to see any action on their part.  

Ah, to be a Texan and understand it all.