The Absent Uncle: Patience

My wife and I are on the opposite ends of the spectrum when it comes to being on time. I’ve always tried to be on time by anticipating unexpected delays and leaving early for a destination appointment. 

I just have no problem with arriving early and waiting for the designated time. 

On the other end of that timing spectrum, when she knows how long it takes to get to where she is going, she leaves exactly at the time (or a minute or two under) it takes to drive that distance. Just in time arrival is simply fine, and a bit late isn’t a problem.

We have known this about each other for the almost 50 years that we’ve been together 

For most of those years, we had two cars and pretty much took care of our own personal business independently. Now in our present-day situation, we have one car, and because of medical appointments, driving restrictions, and the need to assist each other on some of the appointments, the timing and patience issue has blossomed fully.

The origins of my patience in waiting started very early in life. I can remember as an elementary school kid patiently watching out the window for the lights of the school bus on a crossroad about two miles away from our farm. In the dead of a Minnesota winter I knew how long it would take that bus to arrive at the end of our driveway and I had no problem just sitting and watching for the bus to eliminate having to run or to just stand in the dark and cold morning at the end of the driveway. In the fall or spring, when the weather was nice, I would always just walk down early and entertain myself by throwing rocks or examining what was new in the road ditch. 

That habit stuck with me. Be on time by being early.

So, it was interesting when I needed to transport her to her appointment and tried to negotiate an earlier leave time; or conversely when she needed to transport me to my recent appointments for my knee replacement. 

It ended up in a compromise. She gave in a bit; I gave in a bit. And we always arrived on time. 

Now that I have my clearance to drive, I am back to leaving early and sitting patiently for my appointment time; she does her leave time on her own schedule. We tease each other good naturedly, but know some habits just don’t go away.