The Absent Uncle: Friendship

I have been conversing with the widow of a friend of mine that I met a number of years ago while vacationing in a place we return to yearly (starting over 20 years ago!) I don’t remember exactly what year we met – but I do know we had been in the same place, at the same time, and used the same transportation services to arrive and depart for at least a year or two. 

So here we were, sitting on the same shuttle – I recognized him from the year before – he was staring out the window of the van – not at all looking to engage in any kind of conversation, recognition, or so much as a “how ya’ doin’ ?” 

For whatever reason, I spoke to him. (This is not my normal behavior – at all.) 

I clearly remember saying: “I think we are supposed to meet, I’ve seen you on the shuttle and the resort in the past, My name is Dave.”

The look I got back is one I will never forget. Gruff, standoffish, and a piercing stare. This guy was bigger than me and I am not a small person. Sherrill is giving me a look like what are you doing?

And then – a hand the size of a catcher’s mitt reached out – “My name is Mel”.

We had a common week together at the resort. Our habits were similar, although he had obligations to his wife concerning daily activities at the beach or the pool.

He was a strong swimmer (I am not) and I really marveled at his ability to traverse the roped swimming area in the bay multiple times daily. His sense of humor and ability to get under my skin (good naturedly) made the week a really good time for me. We developed our own pattern of doing things we both enjoyed and would schedule them around what was expected by our wives during the week.

A couple of years ago, things really changed. Mel was sick. He told me he had stage 4 colon cancer and was undergoing chemotherapy. While he was there that year, it was obvious things were tough. We adjusted our routine, and thankfully the next year – it felt like progress had been made in his physical condition. He lost some weight, didn’t have as much energy, but ...

That cancer – it way was tougher than that old gruff friend of mine. They didn’t come down last year, and he succumbed during the week we would have spent together.   

Hard to believe; a guy you see once a year becomes a really great friend, someone you enjoy spending time with, and now every time I will walk by that hammock he used to love laying in during the day I will think – Mel – I miss you.