The Absent Uncle: Accepting joy

We humans can be very interesting to observe, interact, and communicate with.  I say interesting (in could be described in a lot of different adjectives – both good and bad!) because in this case watching a friend come to a conclusion that he just wasn’t expecting.

I’ve made good friends with a married couple in their mid 70’s who attend the same aqua fit classes that I do. They celebrated their 55th wedding anniversary a month or two ago, and as a gift their children presented them with an expenses-paid trip to a Caribbean resort.

As background, they are retired from being Missionaries who started and nurtured new churches in Central America. All told they probably spent at least 25 years out of the country, with the rest of their time as professors and teachers in colleges, seminaries, and even as educators in prison systems. Quite a variety of experiences. 

They are still very active in their church; both involved with different outreach programs, helping families to get settled and involved in the community, and occasionally traveling on working missions for a week to complete projects for targeted churches and schools. 

The husband happened to mention to me that they were going to be gone from class the following week and said they were going on a trip that was going to be the first vacation the two of them had taken in many years. It sounded almost like a confession of guilt. 

I asked a bit more about the trip, was told of how it came about, details of where they were going, and some of the activities that were offered as part of the stay. 

As he related these details and told me what he was looking forward to doing, this confession of guilt slowly but surely started to turn into excitement and a real feeling of anticipation of the experience. This change took place over about a week of classes and on our last class together before they departed, I couldn’t help but let him know how great it was to see his excitement and anticipation of having a joyful time with his wife in this “paradise”. I had never seen this side of him before.

His face clouded over, and the smile disappeared. It was obvious he now was feeling really guilty about being excited and I had brought it to his attention. 

We talked a bit about his reaction, and he realized what was happening. He mumbled “thank you” and went back to whatever exercise was being performed in class. 

At the end of class, after having time to consider all that was said, he let me know how hard it was to feel good about taking care of himself – and how his kids had also pointed this out to him. 

Accepting joy and feeling good about it.