The Absent Uncle: ‘It doesn’t get any easier’

My Dad used to have a favorite expression that he used whenever he heard a complaint during a conversation: “It’ll get tougher”. I really resisted that statement and didn’t want to go forward in my life thinking things are going to get worse than they were now, regardless of the subject being talked about.

A lot of the time, he was referring to health or physical wellbeing. When you are a young buck and feeling strong, healthy, and energetic it is easy to push off the tougher outlook.

But the phrase always was in the back of mind and out of respect and love for my Dad, well, I just couldn’t reject wholeheartedly what he was saying. Even though, I didn’t feel like I would give into “It’ll get tougher”.

So life moves along. You go from your 20’s to your 30’s; all is well – don’t see that tougher thing. The 30’s to 40’s – pretty much the same – maybe a bit more weight to deal with, but overall, going strong.

From the 40’s to the 50’s the family and career demands start to increase, the physical activity decreases as well, but still – this isn’t all that much tougher. Still, I hear you Dad in the back of my mind, but no – I am pretty sure I am getting along just fine.

And on we go, from the 50’s to the 60’s; I do sense a change, but certainly you have to expect that things get a bit harder as a person ages, this isn’t “tougher”. Or is it? That doubt starts creeping into my mind, his voice a little louder.

During my late 60’s and into my early 70’s, that voice is louder and it quite frequently echoes, doing a bit of a repeat. I still want to resist that negative approach of “It’ll get tougher”.

Lately, I have a sense that I have made peace with that voice, with the changes I feel and experience with my physical abilities and new requirements from the doctors who are a valued part of my life. I hear my Dad and my reply is “It doesn’t get any easier”. Feels better looking ahead.